striving for (nothing) perfection
i've always wondered why some people can put themselves out there, whilst others hide in the shadows of their own self doubt. despite wanting to write a blog for about 12 years, i've never published a post. i've grown up online, from the age of 11, i spent hours upon hours feeling like this is where i belonged and yet - strangely, i've always found it very difficult to have my own voice online. though a shy child, i eventually found out that i wasn't actually an introvert, i was actually a very anxious extrovert. despite having the ability to talk to almost everybody and everyone – anytime i've shown any personality to anyone online, i'm racked with the uncomfortable feeling of awkwardness. now at the ripe age of 27 (ok i'm basically 28), i've decided to try and push through this.
if you aim for perfection, you will never do anything. that's what has scared me for years, but not as much as sharing 'flawed' content. i'm terrified of the concept of posting something online that isn't my true self. by true self, i do mean my fantasy self with the perfect greyscale closet and impeccable taste in aesthetics. i want people to automatically know how amazing i am, without even trying. i'm forcing myself to create. i can't live without creating just because everything that I do isn't perfect. i think, like me, there are a lot of people who are too critical of their own work, their own words, everything and as a result feel invisible. i encourage all of you to just start. it's never too late.